Ace Harkness
by Jaaawsh
Summary: It involves Captain Jack, so quite a lot of sexual references.


I don't own Doctor Who or Torchwood, they are both the ownership of Satan.

* * *

'Knock knock!'  
'What?' asked Gwen. It surely should have been impossible, but then again, she had given up on the word quite some time ago. Nevertheless, a female voice rang out from the other side of the thick circular door that sealed Torchwood off from the rest of the world. Even weirder, the voice wasn't even welsh.  
'I know you're home' teased the voice.  
'An English girl? What do we do?' asked Gwen, as confused as ever. She looked to her team mates for advice, but she didn't find any. All she found was Tosh on the computer, Owen reading the paper beside her and Ianto, looking up from some paper work.  
'Maybe it's an old shag of Jack's' suggested Owen. He was absolutely sincere about the suggestion, only because he thought it was funnier than his usual barrel of sarcasm in this one occasion.  
'Open up, guys'  
'Someone get that, she's just going to make more of a racket' pleaded Tosh, not turning from the screens.  
'All right, I guess' said Gwen, getting up. She had reached the conclusion that they had let worse terrors into the underground base than a mere English girl. 'Ianto, you go get Jack, it's probably for him' she requested, both going opposite directions, temporarily leaving Owen and Tosh beside each other in peace.  
'Five pounds Jack's already shagged our visitor'  
'Owen you're a useless sack of shite, why are you reading the paper on the job?'  
'Well, you know' he stalled for time, 'you're looking for possible alien encounters and rift disturbances online, I'm just doing it the old-fashioned way.' Tosh only shook her head, but not too much as to take her fixed eyes too far from the flow of data before her.  
As the steel door slid open, it made all the usual noises; the warning noise, the hiss of compressed air and the rumble of the heavy door sliding away.  
'Morning. You're obviously Torchwood then' the woman said smiling, giving a little wave to Gwen as she stepped past the dazed Torchwood agent. She was in her 40's, or maybe five0's, with short brown hair, and her wrinkles couldn't suppress her wide, excited brown eyes. Gwen didn't know if it was just her interest in Torchwood or if she was naturally that bright-eyed.  
'I wish I could look that good when I'm that age' Gwen whispered.  
'Excuse me, I'm only in my 40's. Don't mess with me girl' she threatened. After a short tense moment, she couldn't help but let out a laugh. 'Relax!'She was wearing a plain red dress, nothing that special but it did make her look good. What was interesting, is she was wearing a vintage leather jacket, with buttons and badges all over it.  
'Wicked' remarked Owen, noticing the remarkable jacket from peeking over his newspaper.  
'Yeah, it was cold outside, and it brings back good memories' she replied with a smile. She remembered her teenage years, travelling with that funny old Professor. Everyone else in the room imagined copious amounts of LSD. Very similar, all things considered.  
'Excuse me, who are you, and how did you find us?' asked Tosh, spinning around her chair to lock eyes with the intruder, finally looking away from the computer the first time this morning.  
'Yeah, you're not a local' added Gwen, arms crossed.  
'The name's Ace, and well.. google.'  
'Google?!' echoed through the chamber from Captain Jack's voice. He was ticked off.  
'Yes, how old do I look? I can use google fine thank you' Ace complained, tired of comments about her age.  
'I'll be with you in a minute, Miss Ace.' He walked closer to the group, and stopped standing directly over Owen sitting in his comfy chair. He tried to ignore it and continue reading the paper. Tosh saw this in the corner of her eye and, curiously, opened up Google in another tab, her 25th. She really does over-use, or abuse, the supercomputer.  
'Why are we on google?' asked Jack, as calmly as he could manage. No response.  
'He does look nice, just like his profile pic' whispered Ace, very lightly into Gwen's ear. Jack grabbed the morning paper right out of Owen's hand. He then folded it in half and slowly rolled it up into a tube, savouring Owen's silent anguish. He held it in his hands, looked right into Owen's eyes and simply smiled. Then he whacked him right in the head with his own paper, once, twice... twenty times.  
'I said- ouch, ouch! alright I'll expl-'  
Before he finished, Tosh announced 'He made a dating profile for you Jack, complete with info on where Torchwood is and what we do'  
'You are in deep, DEEP trouble.'  
'Hey hang on Tosh,' Owen announced, dazed and gently rubbing his head, 'that computer's bloody fast you should have found that in a blink, did you take your time to watch him beat me?'  
'Why, of course' chirped Owen, giving him a sadistic little wink.  
'Yeah, it has everything he's into' said Ace, 'EVERYTHING. but also it talks about how you're looking for the Doctor and weird alien stuff'  
'Wait, did you find it by googling for the Doctor, or by looking for someone kinky to date?' asked Gwen. The other three members of Torchwood turned around to face Ace for the answer, their eyes wide open.  
'Well... both actually. I use tabbed browsing.'  
'Captain Jack Harkness, pleased to meet you, Ace' he offered a hand and she shook, both smiling. 'How did you come to know the Doctor?'  
'It was the 80's. I was your average teenager-'  
'I could have sworn you were still a teenager now!' Jack interrupted. She was so flattered, she covered her mouth with her hand. It wasn't enough to stop herself from letting out a little squeak of uncontainable joy.  
'Well then, I was minding my own business, you see, until I got whipped up in this time storm.'  
'Don't you just hate those? If you're caught in one when you're not wearing a time vortex manipulator,' he tapped the item on his wrist in front of her, 'or a Time-proof raincoat, or not wearing anything for that matter, it can be a real problem getting back. Luckily we have the best weather girl' Jack gestured to Tosh, who gave a shy little wave.  
'I landed in the future. I had my jacket, helped me warm up in Iceworld at least. I thought I would never get home, but this old man offered me a joy ride in his blue box, the TARDIS.'  
'Beautiful machine, isn't she?' asked Jack, stressing each word. This made Gwen and the others give each other looks to say 'Surely not machines too?'  
'He said that too sometimes. I loved the vintage panels. So I accepted, it was great fun, we were together for years and years. Until one day, he dropped me off home. He said he had to go pick up the Master's body from Skaro and take it home, he said it was obviously a trap and I should stay home for a while. Afterwards, I wasn't sure if he was telling the truth, because we had already blown up Skaro before...' she stopped. Remembering that goodbye was still tinged with a little pain that remained to this day.  
'So this is the first time you two have met?' asked Owen. He got no response, and then handed a five-pound note to Tosh. She pocketed it and smiled.  
'Skaro blew up again later on. So you met the Daleks?'  
'Yeah, I beat up a few with a nuclear-powered baseball bat' she bragged, her smile beaming. 'It was loads of fun.' Jack simply stared at her, paused in awe.  
'Why didn't I think of that? I came at them with as many guns as we could gather, the Daleks didn't get scratched. They killed me, and a lot of good people.'  
'Now I could have told you they were bloody bulletproof. You're worse than UNIT.' she teased at him, but the last statement must have been more offensive than she expected. Jack's face had the same expression a girlfriend would give if you compared her to an ex. The exact same. She went on, 'If you get them with some decent explosives though, you get to see their green gloop flying across the room.'  
'Excuse me, we are much, MUCH better than UNIT. and Ianto, make a note about the explosives. I could have sworn they were blue goop inside?' Ianto pulled out a notepad, and began to write a note to buy some explosives.  
'Actually, no need' interrupted Ace. Ianto looked at her, puzzled, as she fumbled around, looking through her pockets. 'Here it is! I always kept some Nitro-9 handy, you can keep this bit.' She pulled out a dusty slab of explosive material from the jacket's inside pocket and handed it over.  
'Sweet!' Jack exclaimed. It was like Christmas. 'The Doctor also went through a phase of leather jackets. It looked very good on him, but not as much as on you, I dare say. Personally, I like leather best on-'  
'According to the website,'said Owen interrupting as usual, he was leaning over Tosh and clicking on things on the monitor, 'You both also share interests in science fiction, history, punk rock music, long walks on the beach, whipped cream, whips, chains, electrocution...'  
'Um, not all at once' clarified the Captain, 'Not yet. I could never find a power outlet on a beach.'  
'Owen!' shouted Tosh, wrestling him from the computer.'I think I'm going to be sick' said Gwen. While they were all distracted, Ianto, still with his pen and paper out, took a peak over the both of them and looked at the screen, scribbling these down for later.  
'-Tying up people by their legs upside down and inserting- Ah, no! Stop it Tosh!' he screamed as he was beaten in the head with the keyboard.  
'See, these kids don't communicate about the sexual tensions they have with each other, so they just end up fighting it out. They'll learn eventually. Would you like to come with me away from the kids? I'm sure we've got lots of stories to share.'  
'Yes, and not all of them about the Doctor, apparently' winked Ace as the pair linked arms and walked down the stairs together.


End file.
